2025 has been full of unbelievable news. From elections to assassinations, a government shutdown, wars, rumors of wars, and everything in between. If you thought conversation on Thanksgiving would be limited to the weather, sports and other niceties, think again.
The Polymarket odds that “Nothing Ever Happens: November” resolves to “No” may be inexplicably low. None the less, chances of a food fight breaking out at family dinner couldn’t be higher.
Weather? Maybe weather modification. Sports? Oh, you must mean that massive NBA betting scandal. Grab an extra bottle of sparkling cider because table talk this year is going to be spicy.
Consider playing dumb if a terminally online relative brings up Candace Owens. That is, if you want to move from dinner to dessert in a timely fashion. Carve up the turkey then carve out an extra 45 minutes for this conversation. Question the status quo and you might end up taking a ham hock to the face.
Candace is hot on the trail of who killed Charlie Kirk. Her latest conclusions point to a Macron backed hit team hired to kill her as well. An army of opposition is currently flooding X in an attempt to debunk her once and for all.
Good luck getting to the gravy before this topic comes up. It involves everything from Egypt, to Israel, to the US government. A crash course for conspiracy noobs. However, do not engage if you want to be invited back to Thanksgiving next year. You’ll upset at least half the adults in the room no matter what you say.
When everything is said and done, and the public learns that Macron allegedly moved 1.5 million dollars for my assassination, how will the world respond?
— Candace Owens (@RealCandaceO) November 24, 2025
Pumkin pie isn’t the only thing facing a crust decoupling event. A radical theory is making waves (figuratively, since God said he would never flood the earth again in Genesis 9:11-16) regarding the Earth’s core/crust stability.
Cover that turkey with foil to lock in the moisture then make yourself a tin foil hat. You’re going to need it for this far out conspiracy.
Apparently magnetic north has been drifting at a rapid rate. It could jolt violently according to @EthicalSkeptic. There’s speculation that this relates to an uptick in solar flares. The northern lights have even been seen as far south as Florida this year. So, there’s that.
Give this topic a go when you’ve had your fill of Candace Owens drama. It’s a conspiracy everyone can rag on without fear of needing family therapy after.
This is the worst-case scenario of the Geophysical Event.
— Open Minded Approach (@OMApproach) May 8, 2025
The outer part of the Earth (the crust and mantle) will suddenly shift by 104 degrees, relocating the North and South Poles, while the planet continues spinning in the same direction as before.
This is known as the… pic.twitter.com/qGBXQ1YbGo
Grandma snuck the turkey entrails into the stuffing again this year. Just like secret planes are sneaking chemtrails into the atmosphere. Am I right?
This theory is gaining popularity thanks to a recent Tucker Carlson guest. After finishing a healthy serving of bird you might get flipped the bird for being a Tucker fan.
The conspiracy is pretty straight forward. It goes like this: you know those cloud lines in the sky from planes? They’re a secret attempt to manipulate the weather, among other things.
Whatever they are, I don’t want them in the sky any more than I want giblets in my dressing. The whole family should be able to agree on this but, you’d be surprised.
The government has finally admitted that chemtrails are real. It’s called geoengineering and it’s far worse than anything you imagined. Dane Wigington explains.
— Tucker Carlson (@TuckerCarlson) November 10, 2025
(0:00) Introduction
(1:32) Are All These Strange Streaks in the Sky Chemicals Being Released Into the Air?
(12:26)… pic.twitter.com/MxqrI2XVRj
As usual, everyone failed to RSVP their plus ones again. Now there aren’t enough rolls to go around but, at least there’s a surplus of demand for the Epstein client list.
Rumor has it Pam Bondi may not release the entire Epstein list after all. This, after President Trump signed a bill demanding the total release.
Epstein truthers are rightfully upset. It’s like cranberry gelatin from a can being served up as a suitable replacement for actual cranberry sauce. Get a clue people!
🚨BREAKING: Pam Bondi implies the FULL and UNREDACTED Epstein Files will NOT be released.
— Spencer Hakimian (@SpencerHakimian) November 19, 2025
pic.twitter.com/Mq8adsE4UU
One family can’t be expected to cover every conspiracy in a single dinner. So, BYO Tupperware, and get ready to pack in a few goodies for the road.
Christmas is right around the corner. Do your research now and you’ll finally be able to truth bomb the Fed slop out of your crazy uncle.
